A little before you were taken from the world, I wrote myself a note that I planned to read to you about all the things and reasons I love you.
At the end of the note I write
I love that this is the easiest thing I've ever written.
To write about you now and in the future, I discovered how easy it is and how I can continue writing forever.
But this, here and now writing you in the past and knowing that the things I write have no existence, is the hardest thing there is.

The truth is I didn't know what I would say or write...
And I'm still speechless, because I still can't understand how the world exists and you're not in it.

A year has passed,
A year you are not with me. Us…
I haven't kissed or hugged you in a year.
A year without a smile and without laughing with you.
A year without Shabbat Shalom or Shabbat Tov.
For a year I have not been able to explain to anyone how I feel.
For a year I've been looking for and holding on to anything that reminds me of you.
A year that I keep falling in love with you... but alone...

A year of pain and meaninglessness...
A year that life is divided into before and after.
And I don't know what hurts more,
The longing for the life we had before or the feeling of missing out on the dreams we had and will no longer come true.

Last year, despite everything they said, I was optimistic. I thought we would already be somewhere else this year because that's what you told me. Let's live together, walk hand in hand and continue to love and laugh every moment.

You were optimistic. You believed in yourself and believed in your heart and that's how you made me and others believe. It was your magic.

You had unusual intentions towards this world, you believed that you would be able to make it a better world. You always saw the good and the beauty in every person and so you wanted everyone to love each other.

You surprised everyone with your strength and courage.
You conquered everyone who passed in front of you all with your beautiful smile, heart and the light bursting from you.

Be absolutely sure that this world is better just because you were here.

You left behind parts of you, fragments of your uniqueness. With wisdom and determination, you enlightened every person with love and a light that cannot be extinguished.

The hearts you touched are the proof that you lived and swam.
There are so many testimonies of the path you took and the dreams you wanted to fulfill for yourself and others.

I have so much love for you.
I miss you every moment..
I miss your voice, your look, your mesmerizing blue eyes. I miss your smile and your hug. I miss everything.

I shed tears because I miss you.
And I know it's still okay to smile.
Even in all our most difficult moments amidst the crying and sadness, you made me happy, just by being by your side every moment.

Thank you for the privilege of living by your side, knowing you and being such a big part of your journey.
Thank you for the family you gave me without whom I would not have survived.

One day, I don't know how or when, but we will meet again in person.

Until then, I promise you that I will try to be the man you fell in love with...
I will remember all the things you taught me and learned from you.

You are my best friend and greatest love.

My heart will forever be filled with your love. As long as it beats your love will flow through me, and you will always be with me.
And this is how we will spread your love to the world.